I think I won the penis lottery.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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