he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize