so that wasnt chicken after all
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
