I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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