Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
