i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
