I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i've created a new STD.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
