I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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