I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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