Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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