i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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