quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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