My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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