That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
