hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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