This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My nipple is on Facebook.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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