nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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