I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
