I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
