What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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