so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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