$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
