brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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