This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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