sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
