i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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