i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
