when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
