She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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