what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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