Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
