so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
