HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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