break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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