i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
