sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize