was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Please don't give away my fajitas
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
