He felt like a one man threesome
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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