Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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