I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just gift wrapped bread.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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