hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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