ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
