you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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