there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
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I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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