Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?

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  (313): At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit? http://tfl.nu/h53l
  Replies (19) Good night (1692) Bad night (641)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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  (678): well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list http://tfl.nu/inae
  Replies (4) Good night (2773) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
  Replies (111) Good night (46697) Bad night (2745)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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  (570): we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up. http://tfl.nu/su5y
  Replies (20) Good night (3814) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
  Replies (13) Good night (993) Bad night (4800)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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  (317): He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death http://tfl.nu/foc2
  Replies (6) Good night (3365) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM

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  (606): I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM http://tfl.nu/m9e8
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (5487)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.

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  (717): Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life. http://tfl.nu/od19
  Replies (12) Good night (2197) Bad night (2867)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.

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  (937): so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had. http://tfl.nu/vdqf
  Replies (8) Good night (1659) Bad night (4580)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.

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  (614): Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning. http://tfl.nu/meuz
  Replies (11) Good night (2164) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.

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  (330): She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo. http://tfl.nu/dqo9
  Replies (20) Good night (3470) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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  (336): Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank? http://tfl.nu/yo0k
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!

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  (520): Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again! http://tfl.nu/ddjb
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.

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  (262): Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle. http://tfl.nu/lpt1
  Replies (3) Good night (535) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.

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  (602): Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/hvdo
  Replies (5) Good night (1336) Bad night (283)

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