Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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(314): I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found http://tfl.nu/6w2n

Replies (0) Good night (730) Bad night (927)
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(512): View more from Texas

just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?

(1-512): View more from Texas

pretty standard. you have fun last night?

(512): View more from Texas

apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?

(1-512): View more from Texas

typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

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(512): just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long? (1-512): pretty standard. you have fun last night? (512): apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean? (1-512): typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat. http://tfl.nu/ntbz

Replies (8) Good night (1512) Bad night (533)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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(847): I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july. http://tfl.nu/a19z

Replies (20) Good night (5854) Bad night (560)
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(914): View more from New York

I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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(914): I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room. http://tfl.nu/ia7u

Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (3549)
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(954): View more from Florida

I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.

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(954): I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears. http://tfl.nu/6ckb

Replies (14) Good night (4979) Bad night (1028)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

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(803): so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer. http://tfl.nu/xrhj

Replies (6) Good night (3994) Bad night (838)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.

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(505): Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw. http://tfl.nu/cwfe

Replies (4) Good night (2656) Bad night (1124)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.

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(304): I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud. http://tfl.nu/1ldm

Replies (8) Good night (2286) Bad night (1198)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Its gonna be a symphony of fucks

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(870): Its gonna be a symphony of fucks http://tfl.nu/8ess

Replies (7) Good night (1647) Bad night (568)
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(707): View more from California

You rang?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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(707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm

Replies (15) Good night (2337) Bad night (763)
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(626): View more from California

I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.

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(626): I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing. http://tfl.nu/hf05

Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (657)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love

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(720): Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love http://tfl.nu/8heh

Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (832)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.

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(520): Go for gold. Two birds with one vag. http://tfl.nu/1s6j

Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (238)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!

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(787): Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud! http://tfl.nu/y0cl

Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (247)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.

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(443): You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober. http://tfl.nu/yspt

Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (221)

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