Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet

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  (617): just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet http://tfl.nu/fxai
  Replies (82) Good night (1534) Bad night (19125)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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  (785): if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone. http://tfl.nu/lyyb
  Replies (31) Good night (997) Bad night (4832)
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  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9394) Bad night (1426)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated

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  (206): Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated http://tfl.nu/xvfw
  Replies (10) Good night (793) Bad night (3201)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.

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  (315): i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night. http://tfl.nu/xhhx
  Replies (12) Good night (1617) Bad night (2924)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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  (646): He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was. http://tfl.nu/uwpx
  Replies (24) Good night (1190) Bad night (5849)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks

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  (443): And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks http://tfl.nu/r3ru
  Replies (5) Good night (1684) Bad night (1397)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted

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  (403): I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted http://tfl.nu/dgp6
  Replies (7) Good night (946) Bad night (577)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.

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  (636): In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something. http://tfl.nu/dpws
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (453)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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  (802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (423)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (601)
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  (+91): View more from India

  I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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  (+91): I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' ! http://tfl.nu/au1d
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (488)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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  (519): Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice. http://tfl.nu/3hl9
  Replies (11) Good night (730) Bad night (307)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.

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  (+44): I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop. http://tfl.nu/8cc7
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (484)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18

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  (+44): Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18 http://tfl.nu/csfk
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (272)

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