All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch