I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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