Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails

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  (704): she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails http://tfl.nu/8gop
  Replies (9) Good night (401) Bad night (3937) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

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  (217): if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life http://tfl.nu/29yn
  Replies (11) Good night (4281) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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  (985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5
  Replies (32) Good night (4730) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.

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  (702): He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out. http://tfl.nu/lsxk
  Replies (18) Good night (3326) Bad night (1665) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

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  (613): You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one http://tfl.nu/l60l
  Replies (5) Good night (4863) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

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  (517): Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned. http://tfl.nu/fz01
  Replies (5) Good night (1650) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (1228)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is the high leading the old right now

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  (865): This is the high leading the old right now http://tfl.nu/zdtd
  Replies (1) Good night (1164) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.

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  (201): I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made. http://tfl.nu/1nr5
  Replies (6) Good night (1721) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?

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  (832): I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal? http://tfl.nu/mk58
  Replies (7) Good night (876) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (+63): View more from

  there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi

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  (+63): there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi http://tfl.nu/ylbm
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.

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  (604): Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive. http://tfl.nu/sq1l
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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  (423): We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off. http://tfl.nu/yele
  Replies (17) Good night (2746) Bad night (173)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

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  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting

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  (571): Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting http://tfl.nu/5qzx
  Replies (1) Good night (218) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt

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