Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Spring semester is just not the same w/o you

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  (313): Spring semester is just not the same w/o you http://tfl.nu/5znn
  Replies (7) Good night (856) Bad night (1114)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..

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  (586): Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away.. http://tfl.nu/t5um
  Replies (22) Good night (3134) Bad night (1272)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  did you answer or finish?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  both

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  (404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called? (1-404): did you answer or finish? (404): both http://tfl.nu/gzoz
  Replies (27) Good night (7522) Bad night (1137)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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  (630): Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me. http://tfl.nu/4ss8
  Replies (18) Good night (7310) Bad night (2076)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX

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  (517): My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX http://tfl.nu/rv1c
  Replies (23) Good night (1210) Bad night (6346)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (2148) Bad night (2790)
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  (949): View more from California

  Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

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  (949): Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it? http://tfl.nu/e2vj
  Replies (12) Good night (1466) Bad night (4358)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."

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  (478): All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk." http://tfl.nu/3sim
  Replies (10) Good night (3412) Bad night (1228)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.

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  (815): I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere. http://tfl.nu/v3m6
  Replies (11) Good night (882) Bad night (2376)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

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  (503): It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now. http://tfl.nu/4bjw
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1400)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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  (250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi
  Replies (8) Good night (1708) Bad night (845)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.

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  (410): Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/bzly
  Replies (9) Good night (1400) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see

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  (201): I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see http://tfl.nu/49ut
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (340)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT

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  (303): Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT http://tfl.nu/q2ya
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

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  (734): But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs http://tfl.nu/hjry
  Replies (1) Good night (229) Bad night (384)

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