You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...