Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
