do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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