around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
