Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
me + whiskey = a bad person
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
