I need to stop coming to work sober
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
