Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
