I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.