...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.