nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.