Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
