When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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