no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
