dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
